i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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