I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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