Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
