My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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