I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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