woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize