"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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