i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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