Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
