so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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