Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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