i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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