when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
