OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
