Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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