I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
