Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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