I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
