Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
