you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
