I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
