Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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