i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
