I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
