How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize