she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
