Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
