oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
how does that bad decision feel?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
