Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
