Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
