I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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