just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
NoShamevember. You game?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
