Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
