Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
