If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm just crazy horny about you
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
