Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
its liver damage thursday
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
