i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
