I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
