last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
