Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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