we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
