New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
