WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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