So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
