Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize