:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
