I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
