the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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