My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
