I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
