Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize