No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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