Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
