Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
