Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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