: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
