Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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